Little fun fact before we begin presented by Dick’s Sporting Goods. The most popular team in each state based on jersey sales.
Alaska and the Rams…who knew? Alright, on to the rankings!
32. Oakland Raiders (0-6) Previous Rk #31
It’s gut check time for the Raiders. After Jacksonville got its first win of the season this past weekend the Raiders are now the only
undefeated team in the league. With an offense ranked LAST it could might be time to check the schedule to see what games they could possibly win to avoid being only the third team since 1976 to go winless (’76 Bucs, ’08 Lions). They have the Browns, Rams, and Chiefs twice. Every other team has a winning record.
31. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-6) Previous Rk #32
Celebration time in Jacksonville! You hear that! No longer defeated after taking the Browns to task last Sunday. Denard Robinson (remember him, the quarterback from Michigan) had an absolutely absurd game on the ground. In 50 rushing attempts, yes 50, he rushed for over 220 yards and touchdown. Hot tub parties all around in Flordia!
30. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-5) Previous Rk #30
Who’s looking for some optimism out of the Bucs camp seeing as how they were on a bye this past week? I mean, most fans know that bye weeks give teams plenty of time to rest, get healthy, prepare, and game plan for their coming opponent. So let’s see what the local Tampa papers have for the fans to raise morale…
Okay then! Maybe next time.
29. New York Jets (1-6) Previous Rk #28
The Jets had two HUGE errant special teams plays that led to a failed upset bid in Foxboro last Sunday. First, with two and half minutes remaining they got a touchdown to make the score 25-27, but failed to tie it up on a two point conversion. Then, with only about a minute left Geno Smith somehow marched the team fifty yards from their own 12 to attempt a 58-yard field goal try. That attempt with five seconds left was unceremoniously blocked, crushing the souls of those Jets fans still cheering for this now 1-6 team. But hey, at least they got this guy coming to town!…
28. Tennessee Titans (2-5) Previous Rk #29
Confession time: for some reason whenever I’m about to do Titans research so that I can give some hot take on the power rankings I immediately feel like Ben Stein teaching in Ferris Bueller. Just boring the class out of their minds. “Whose the Titans quarterback now? Class?…Anyone?…Anyone?…Charlie Whitehurst. Can you tell me what their total defense is ranked? Anyone?…Anyone?… That’s right, they’re 27th in the league.”
27. Washington Redskins (2-5) Previous Rk #27
The soap opera that is the Washington Quarterback Situation (WQS for short) has taken another dramatic turn. Kirk Cousins officially out, Colt McCoy officially in, and RGIII officially will get his starting job back when he is healthy. After Cousins got benched at halftime, McCoy threw a 71 yard touchdown on his first pass play of the game. But don’t let that number fool you. McCoy’s average pass that game traveled 3.3 yards. He didn’t attempt one pass that traveled more than 10 yards downfield. Washington squeeked out a 19-17 win over the Titans on a field goal with time expiring. Exhilarating stuff.
26. Minnesota Vikings (2-5) Previous Rk #25
Despite a four turnover performance from the Bills, the Vikes left Buffalo empty-handed and dejected. A last second touchdown by Sammy Watkins was a dagger to the Vikings D that allowed the Bills to trot down the field for an 80 yard/3:06 minute drive. Teddy looked like a rookie does out there, throwing for 157 yards, 1 TD, and 2 picks.
25. Atlanta Falcons (2-5) Previous Rk #22
The Falcons look to be in an absolute free fall after starting the season 2-1. The streak of not winning an outdoor game on the road since Nov. 2012 continued after losing to Baltimore this past week. Matty Ice was sacked a season-high five times behind an inexperienced offensive line. They will try to win a game outdoors this week when they fly to London to play the Lions.
24. Houston Texans (3-4) Previous Rk #24
Same old song and dance coming: JJ Watt had another great defensive game, one sack/one fumble recovery, yet the Texans lost the game. It sure would be nice to have the #1 overall pick playing. Jadeveon Clowney has now missed six straight games since suffering a torn meniscus in the season opener.
23. New York Giants (3-4) Previous Rk #20
The Giants actually gave the Cowboys a game this past Sunday, despite losing by 10 in Dallas. Late in the fourth they were only down 7 with 5 minutes to go, and then DeMarco Murray came in and ate up the rest of the clock. Without Victor Cruz, the passing attack was still able to have a decent day. Eli did his best to spread it out by getting four receivers multiple receptions. Rookie Odell Beckham Jr. continues to be one of Eli’s favorite redzone targets, getting two scores on only four catches. As for the defense, just know McClain will tell you when he’s not the mike…
22. St. Louis Rams (2-4) Previous Rk #26
This was easily the most exciting game to watch of the weekend. The Rams threw everything they had the defending Super Bowl champs and it paid off huge with an upset in St. Louis. With a seemingly nothing-to-lose-mentality the Rams special teams put on an absolute clinic; first with this unbelievable fake punt return (which you might have to watch at least five times)…
then with the most gutsy fake-punt fourth down call of the year inside their own 20…
21. Cleveland Browns (3-3) Previous Rk #17
Why Browns? Just, why? There ya were, 3-2, coming off a great win at home against the Steelers. Heading to the winless Jaguars. And then all the sudden you forgot how to play football and lost 24-6 to a team that averages about TEN POINTS A GAME! (10.8 if were getting technical) In the words of every father everywhere: I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.
Not at this guy though, he left it all on the field…
20. New Orleans Saints (2-4) Previous Rk #16
The Saints had a chance to salvage its season, but a late turnover on the road led to a heartbreaking 23-24 loss in Detroit. When it was announced prior to the game that Jimmy Graham was actually going to suit up, despite the report that he was supposed to miss 2-3 weeks with a shoulder injury, aspirations for a win had to improve. But the tight end that had 1200+ yards and 16 touchdowns last season was only targeted twice despite playing 41% of the offensive plays. The almost always clutch Drew Brees was anything but in Detroit, completing 3-of-14 passes in the 4th quarter, his second-worst completion percentage in his career. It also included this late pick…
19. Pittsburgh Steelers (4-3) Previous Rk #18
Crazy stat of the day: the Steelers haven’t lost a Monday Night Football game at home since 1991. With the win over the Texans last night that now makes 16 straight wins at home on Monday night. Want another stat? The Steelers scored 24 points in under three minutes last night. Crazy town.
18. Buffalo Bills (4-3) Previous Rk #19
It took a touchdown with one second left, but the Bills avoided a home loss against the Vikings by just one point. Unfortunately, the win came with the loss of both starting running backs. Fred Jackson left the game with a groin injury in the first quarter and didn’t return. He could potentially miss four weeks depending on how the injury heals. CJ Spiller left the game in the second quarter with a broken collarbone, and is now listed as out for the rest of the season. Anthony Dixon will be the starter this week. Here’s that last second TD…
17. Chicago Bears (3-4) Previous Rk #13
For a team that has the third highest average priced ticket ($272.39), they aren’t giving the fans much to cheer about at home. The Bears are now 0-3 this season at Solider, and booing fans are causing massive turmoil within the locker room. Brandon Marshall isn’t happy with the team. Kyle Long isn’t happy with the fans. And the drama in the windy city seems to be coming to a head.
16. Kansas City Chiefs (3-3) Previous Rk #23
The Chiefs have had a fairly difficult schedule for the first third of the season with opponents like the Broncos, Patriots, Niners, and Chargers. They got a solid road win this past Sunday coming off the bye because Andy Reid almost never loses when he has an extra week to prepare. Seriously, he’s 14-2 lifetime now when his team is coming off the bye.
15. Carolina Panthers (3-3-1) Previous Rk #15
9. 9 yards. That’s the total yards the Panthers offense gained in the first quarter when they went to Lambeau Field on Sunday and got trounced. Their D didn’t fare much better in the first quarter, giving up three touchdowns. It was a very uncharacteristic day for the defense that had given up just two 1st-quarter touchdowns all season coming into the game. Maybe not the best day to be a Panther fan…
14. Miami Dolphins (3-3) Previous Rk #21
The Dolphins are one of the most confusing teams in the league. They beat the Patriots, then lost to the Bills. Lost to the Packers at home, but beat the Bears on the road. This team would probably rank #1 on the list of least likely teams to bet on in a survivor league (minus all teams 15-32 on this list). One thing is for certain, their running attack has really opened up the play-action game for Tannehill. He was 8-of-8 for 103 yards off play action plays.
13. Cincinnati Bengals (3-2-1) Previous Rk #8
Oh, the Bengals. The Bengals, the Bengals, the Bengals. In a matter of three weeks the Bengals have gone from sexy Super Bowl pick, to possibly not even making the playoffs. We all know how hot they started off. And how ice-cold they’ve been the past three weeks. This past Sunday Dalton didn’t even have 100 passing yards until the final drive of the game. Maybe it’s because he’s throwing balls out there that are getting his receivers destroyed…
They have the Ravens next. It’s not a must win, but another loss might force heads to roll in Cincy.
12. San Francisco 49ers (4-3) Previous Rk #10
The Niners are probably thankful for the bye this week after the 42-17 drubbing they took at Mile High. Even though some fans might be panicking there is a lot of good to point out. The team still has a winning record. They have both their offense and defense ranked in the top ten (9th and 6th respectively). They have Aldon Smith who could be coming back early from his 9 game suspension. Oh, and their coach gets the most facetime in the league according to the WSJ.
11. Seattle Seahawks (3-3) Previous Rk #6
The Seahawks were stunned for a second straight week, this time on the road in St. Louis. Even with a record breaking performance by Russell Wilson, who was the first QB to ever throw for 300+ yards and rush for 100+, they couldn’t mount a comeback on the tricky Rams. They should have a legitimate gripe though when a Rams fumble with little time remaining was called down by contact. That call could’ve (and definitely did) change the outcome of the game.
10. New England Patriots (5-2) Previous Rk #14
It wasn’t pretty, and it may have taken a little bit of luck, but the Pats remained undefeated at home after they escaped Foxboro with a 27-25 win over the rival Jets. Brady had a solid outing (261/3 TDS/0 INTS), but the run game was non-existent for pretty much the entire game. The Patriots were out-rushed by the Jets 63 yards to 218. Had it not been for a last second blocked FG this could’ve been a very different ending. Also, if Tom Brady is ever thinking about a career after football, acting might right up his ally…
9. Arizona Cardinals (5-1) Previous Rk #9
With Carson Palmer and Andre Ellington both back after injuries early in the season it appears the Cardinals could be a bona-fide playoff threat. The balanced attack led by Ellington’s stellar play, 88 yards rushing/72 yards receiving, beat up on the Raiders for a 24-13 win. Palmer went for 253 yards passing, 2 TDs, and 1 INT. They host the Eagles this week in what is sure to be a must watch matchup. Hopefully Darnell Dockett won’t be trolling any Eagles fans like he did to these Raider fans last week…
8. Baltimore Ravens (5-2) Previous Rk #12
The Ravens breezed by the Falcons easily this past Sunday even after turning the ball over three times. The game that ended 29-7 was 20-0 at the start of the fourth quarter. If you’re wondering how they achieved the odd number of 29 look no further than T Sizzle…
7. Detroit Lions (5-2) Previous Rk #11
The Lions capped off one of the most remarkable comebacks of the season after going down 23-10 with only a little over 5 minutes left in the game against the Saints. The comeback was made possible with huge plays on both sides of the ball and a little luck. First, Matt Stafford connected with Golden Tate for a 73 yard pitch and catch TD (3:52 left). Next, the defense picked off a Drew Brees pass that was returned to within 14 yards of the end zone (3:20 left). Then, on a fourth-and-five the Lions failed to convert on a Reggie Bush catch but were bailed out by a pass-interference call (2:20 left). They finally scored three plays later to go up 24-23 (1:54 left) and did not allow Brees to orchestrate a last-minute drive.
6. San Diego Chargers (5-2) Previous Rk #5
The Chargers could be slipping faster than we think after barely getting by Oakland in week six, and losing to the Chiefs at home on a late field goal in week 7. They don’t have much time to solve what’s missing as they head to Denver in just two days for the Thursday Night game. Fortunately, they still have the third best pass-defense in the game.
5. Green Bay Packers (5-2) Previous Rk #7
Aaron Rodgers didn’t need to finish the game after getting the Pack off to a 21-0 start in the first quarter and cruising to a 38-17 rout of the Panthers. Rodgers threw for 3 touchdowns and 0 picks for the fourth consecutive game in this early season, a feat only accomplished once before in league history by none-other than Tom Brady in 2007. Brady won the MVP that year, nbd.
Also…maybe sign this kid up, can never have too many weapons…
4. Dallas Cowboys (6-1) Previous Rk #4
That’s six straight wins now for them Cowboys. At the risk of sounding like a broken record DeMarco Murray had another game rushing for over 100 yards. That’s seven straight now. As in every game this season. As in breaking the record for most consecutive games with 100 yards rushing that was set in 1958 by none other than Jim Brown. In case he has his eyes set on another record, like Erik Dickerson’s regular season rushing record of 2,105, he is currently on pace to fall just 12 yards shy.
3. Indianapolis Colts (5-2) Previous Rk #3
27-0. Absolute domination of the Bengals this past week made it look like a JV vs. Varsity game. The defense’s refusal to allow opponents to convert on third downs continued with their ridiculous hot streak. The Bengals, converting 1-13 third downs, makes that 4-41 in the last four games. Insane.
2. Philadelphia Eagles (5-1) Previous Rk #2
Colts and Cowboys coming on strong to challenge for the #2 spot, but the Eagles had a bye week, so they get to retain their ranking. The Birds head to the desert next week for a showdown between two one-loss teams in the Arizona Cardinals.
1. Denver Broncos (5-1) Previous Rk #1
Record for most passing touchdowns in league history? Check. Preplanned cheesy celebration for when you break the record? Double check. The Bronco train keeps rolling as long as Peyton keeps throwing passes. Still #1 in the power rankings. See y’all next week!
maybe even you too Brett…